I know, I should be shot. I think I tend to favor female voices over male, so it's nothing personal.
But, I heard their song Worn on the radio yesterday.
I had a really long post written and hated it.
After talking with a dear friend who has empty arms during the holidays, too, I realized I just don't want to do Christmas this year. I don't want the magic, or the warmth, or carols. I am worn. We are worn.
I just want Emmanuel, God with us, the Birth of Christ.
I want time with my Savior, away from all of the red and green and silver and gold.
I want life and redemption.
I wish I could say life as a Christian was always grounded. I wish I had faith to move mountains and praise poured from me all day long. Realistically, for me, sometimes prayers run thin and you feel like you are grasping onto air. Redemption will come, I know this well, but we are tired.
I thought this song was worth a share.
Worn by Tenth Avenue North
Although I can't say that I know how you feel (and I don't even know you!)I have had similar experiences and feelings. I remember the pain of empty arms and doctor's waiting rooms full of pregnant women. I remember just wanting to curl up from the hurt. But God can bless our lives in crazy ways. My oldest son (19) is adopted, second son (16) was from fertility drugs that had failed before, and my third son (15 today) was a really big surprise. My heart goes out to you. I have no advice except to continue to love and be loved. We cannot understand the plan, we just have to trust in it. My heart hurts with you.
ReplyDeleteHi Katie,
ReplyDeleteI was looking for your email everywhere on this blog and I cannot find it. I would really like to email you though so would you email me? And then will you delete this entry? I don't want my email everywhere.
Thanks,
Elissa
elissaley@gmail.com
Hi again,
ReplyDeleteI thought about it and thought, I should reply here of what I want to email you. So that you don't think I'm crazy. I want your email to tell you that I know how hard this can be and I want to email you a tiny piece of my story to tell you that I know how you feel.
Elissa
Thank you for sharing this Katie! I am new to your blog...found you through pinterest. Life has been hard for me too...Lots of "stuff" (more than I can go into)..miscarriage in that mix of stuff. This song really hit me where I am today.
ReplyDeleteThank you for writing a Christian blog and for encouraging me today.
Hi Katie! I just came across your blog & I've spent nearly half an hour now perusing your site. I look forward to following you & trying out some of your great ideas. Happy New Year! Jaime
ReplyDeleteThis is the first time I have visited your blog and read this post. All I can say is you hit it on the head! I have been feeling the exact same way. We had a miscarraige last year on new years eve. The week bewteen Christmas and New Years last year was one, if not the worst week of my life so far. Needless to say I did NOT want anything to do with the holidays this year, especially new years eve. Thank you for putting into words all that I have been feeling. This is a new step toward heeling & I am glad to find a good Christian blogger who is just real. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful song, meaningful lyrics. Thanks for posting, love Tenth Avenue North.
ReplyDelete