Long Time No See

I have had zero motivation to blog in say... months.  I see or do something and think.. hmm, I should blog this.  And then, of course, I don't.  Blogging has been so low on my priority list it's not even funny.  But, I am feeling like it again, so here goes.

The holidays were hard after losing a baby and still having trouble-well-making one.  I barely wanted to celebrate Christmas, but we managed.

We took an anniversary trip to New York City right before Christmas to celebrate 5 years of marriage.  We had a blast.  It was the first vacation we had ever taken by ourselves and not to see other people.  5 days of interrupted time with each other was just what we needed.  Our favorite things were probably seeing Wicked on Broadway, our food tour through Greenwich Village, and um- did I mention food?  So good.  We ate like piggies, but walked everywhere and my husband managed to lose 6 pounds, despite the 1 lb, $16 pastrami sandwich he scarfed at Katz's Deli.  We went to Mood, too, so I could buy some fabric!

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We found out on New Years Eve that Daniel's sister, Rachel, had a brain tumor and found out two weeks ago that she has terminal brain cancer.  It's not something I want to blog about because it's just too close.  But, please pray for our family.  I know the Lord is good and I know that He loves us.  All other things I don't understand- but one day we will see redemption.

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We found out last week that we are expecting!  I had told Daniel the week before we found out (when he asked me if I could test.. at 5 dpo.  NO, dear husband I cannot) that, go figure, this month of all months would be the month.  I forgot about being in the two-week-wait, which was actually refreshing from a fertility standpoint, although I would have given anything to be worrying about that rather than Daniel's sister. I woke up one morning and thought I should take a test because I could possibly be far enough along to get a positive (I was either 10 or 12 dpo), but wasn't expecting anything.  It came up right away!  Daniel had just left for work, so I made him come back home so I could tell him.  No elaborate surprise, just a hug on the stairs because we have a no-show rule in the house.  We are so overjoyed and so grateful.  My betas look great and have been tripling every 48 hours, so we have an early ultrasound scheduled this Thursday.  There is a silver lining after losing a baby- early monitoring!  We are due October 16th.  Love fall!

It's such a weird time right now.  It's hard to understand how to be as sad as you have ever been, to feel as broken as you could ever be, but be as joyful as you can imagine at the exact same time.  Still trying to figure that out, and not sure we ever will.  God's grace is with us daily.

We will post a video of our ultrasound later in the week!