Holidays are just flat out hard to handle. People assume that holding babies and going into stores with baby things are the hardest. Sure, they can be difficult to handle (depending on my mood- we have been known to just stroll Babies 'R Us and pick out our "would have" things), but holidays are by far the worst- even Halloween. So, this last week wasn't the best on top of being sick, but it was still nice to not have to work and relax.
I'm usually so so excited this time of year. It is, by far, my favorite. I am still loving it, but this year is a little different. We try and focus on the things in life we are thankful for- which is not hard to do, because they are abundant- but sometimes my guard is let down and I can't help but feel sadness for so many things. It doesn't mean I'm not thankful for the blessing I do have- it just means I am still learning how to balance. I am learning to dance through it. I am learning how to live life, worship my Savior, love my husband, go to work, and miss my baby.
Here are some fall things I am definitely loving this fall (winter?)-
- Youtube. Clearly. I talk about it all the time-pretty pathetic actually. Love the vlog world- so much so that I hardly read blogs anymore. Meh, I never cared much for reading anyway. Still sketchy on whether I want to start one.
- Scarves. You into scarves and pashminas? You should. When I don't feel like wearing jewelry (often), I just grab and scarf and go. Some days wearing day-old slacks, a long sleeve T and a scarf is all my kiddos are getting.
|And, I got makeup all over the collar. Nope, can't tell. Khols Black Friday $8|
- Boots and Leggins. Glorified sweatpants with ultra wide waste band to hold it all in. No need to find fancy socks for Toms or flats. Need I say more? No.
- Clear Shampoo and Conditioner. I'm not sure why, but I have some awful breakage around the crown of my head. Oh wait, maybe it's because I wash, dry, and curl my hair every day? Sure. It's terrible. I have fine hair and always need a volumizing shampoo, which doesn't tend to be very conditioning. I love this stuff. My hair is so soft and my little midge hairs aren't sticking up in the back. My curls don't fall and I smell yummy clean shampoo every time I turn my head. Woo hoo!
- New York! Daniel and I are going to NYC for our 5 year anniversary. We have never taken a vaca for the fun of it- we've been places, but they've been visits to see family, go to weddings, or vacas taken with our families. We have been putting away money here and there and are almost finished planning our trip. Just bought our tickets to Wicked!
- Audrey Assad. Check her out- I listen to her during my plan times and before school. LOVE her. Favorite album- The House You're Building. That Sparrow song is on Christian radio right now (so so great), but I like the album before that one better. It's super chill and mellow-
Here is what I'm playing now:
Restless is also so great right now.
- G-O-D. Yes, there have been times and stages in our mourning where we have been- sorry for the language- pissed. There have been dark days when my view of a holy, sovereign almighty God was replaced by the image of a judge stamping his approval on our lives as if we were bills to be paid. Bills come across- bills that declare what will happen in our lives- and he doesn't even read it. He just says sure. Let their baby die. Next? Hello?! God, do you see us? Do you hear us? It happens. We lower our eyes from Christ and set them on ourselves and forget who God is and who He declares Himself to be. He sees me. He hears me. He quiets me with His love. He is Almighty, He makes and upholds. His majesty is endless. I don't know what is in our future- except that I know He is already there. My salvation is secure. My home is in heaven and God is worthy of my praise!