Alzheimers Walk

Sunday morning we walked a few miles for Alzheimer's.  Daniel's grandma has Alzheimer's.  He doesn't really like to talk about it because he has such special memories with his grandma and it just hurts too much.  He was home schooled until he was in high school (which I enjoy telling people.  I like to imagine him being that sweet boy, doing his school work and helping his mom, although I am certain he was a rat sometimes!) and he and his siblings took turns spending Sunday nights with his grand parents.  On the way to the walk, he was telling me all about his days with them-the way he used to stay up late to watch movies with his grandpa and play games with him when his grandma had hair appointments.  He told me how his grandma used to take him to Taco Bell for lunch and she'd always have one taco and a coffee (he ate more than this, I assure you). 
Sometimes I am so sad that we have to live in a fallen world.  I am sad that there is death.  I am sad that there is sickness.  I am sad that wives don't know their husbands, parents don't recognize their children, and grandparents don't know their grandchildren.  Why?  Why can't people just get old and physically stop working?  Why can't we keep our minds while everything else fails?  I just don't understand.  I don't understand why God created specific sicknesses and why he allows them to happen.  What glory does he find in them?  Goodness.  He finds goodness.  He promises he turns all things for good for those who love him.  I just can't see it now, but I know, one day, when we are all risen, we will see it.  I am thankful that, even though our world is fallen, God sent His Son to die for us so that we could spend eternity with him.  It will all make sense someday.

The walk is usually on Saturday, but it would have interfered with the Diabetes Walk this year, so they moved it to Sunday.  Which, for us, was great because we had a Junior Bible Quiz meet Saturday and wouldn't have been able to walk.  Our team raised $1125!  The Alzheimer's Association had lots of fun things to do before the walk started and several assisted living properties were there giving out freebies.  We ended up walking two miles and had such a great time hanging out with Daniel's Aunt, Uncle, Cousin, and her friend and sons.  It is sad that we can walk for things like this, but it helps to cope for sure.



Boy loves his grandma!

I look like a blimp!  Thank you, 4 shirts in 50 degree weather.



Stretches



Decorating flowers for the walk.  Orange meant general support of the cause.  You could carry a yellow flower if you were walking for someone you knew who has Alzheimer's and is still alive.  Purple flowers meant that you were walking for someone who had died- and one other color for people to carry if they had Alzheimer's.  Not hardly any of those.



Kim.  LOVE her!





"Purple" water for Alzheimer's.  It looked brown.  Use your own imagination on that one.

 

We made it!  Daniel with his Aunt and Uncle.





Champion!  Raised the most money on our team!



Blessed.  Love our grandma!

Autumn Nicole Paul

Our tiny, lovely, perfect niece came into the world early Sunday morning at 1:05 am.

I have never been so closely related to a baby and-to be honest- the feeling is overwhelming (in the best sense of the word).  I cannot think about my sister in law, her husband, and that baby without starting to cry.  For the past two days, a wave of pride, joy, love, honor- all things perfect- has flooded our family and it is wonderful.  We already have such a great family.  I didn't know that there could be more love.  But, oh, how much more we have now!

We adore her!

I can only imagine how much more this love is magnified when it is your own child.  Holding that little girl and seeing Daniel with her made my heart ache.  Not in a bad way, not in a jealous way.  It's hard to describe in words.  I think it was a combination of loving that little lovely girl so much and looking forward to getting to experience that for yourself, with your own children someday.  To know our (someday) babies will grow up together and love each other as if they were siblings.  I know she is new, but we are completely obsessed with her.  We have been praying for her for a long time and are so glad she is finally here!

Four Years

Today is our anniversary!
I can't believe it- we have been married for four years.  I don't really know where all of that time went.
Marriage is such a hard thing to learn how to do well.  When do we get to the point when we think we are good at being married?  Daniel and I fell in love immediately once we met, talked about getting married after dating for one month, and were engaged after dating for eight.  Never have I had a doubt in my mind that Daniel is the person God chose for me and am grateful for all the little ways we can look back and see how He prepared us for one another throughout our lives.  Because I love Daniel so much and always have, I thought marriage would be eeassssy peeeassy.  Pffft.  Okay.

I don't mean that to sound bad, or to sound like I don't love my husband.  Marriage is hard for me because of me, not because of my husband.  Sure, he takes his socks off and leaves them in the living room every day of his life and he can't dance.  Big Woop.  He has terrrrrible  handwriting (so much so that when I was in college and taking a class on students with special needs, I interviewed Daniel and asked him if he would consider his handwriting a learning disability because it interferes with his ability to take notes quickly and legibly.  Bahahaha).  I can fill out important forms for us.  He has grouchy days.  Who doesn't?  Over the past 4 years, I've learned that when something's just not right, I need to point my finger at myself first before I point it at him.  It took a long time to learn that, and I don't always manage to do it, but the Lord has been faithful to prayer.  As a wise woman says to me all the time, "God is loving me every. single. day". True Dat.

You are probably thinking I have an awful marriage by now.  Au Contraire, Mon Frère!  I have a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful marriage and have a husband whom I, literally, love more and more every day I am alive.  However, I think there is a lie floating around out there that claims that if we just love enough, it will fix everything and that, if we follow Jesus, we can have the perfect life.  It simply isn't true.  Sure, I will spend eternity worshiping the Savior in heaven, not because I did anything, but because He did it all.  However, while still here in this life, I am a wretched human being.  So is Daniel.  So are you.  And, being called to marriage, this means two wretched human beings have to figure out how to love and serve one another.  It's hard!  But, as my favorite verse says, "Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness"-Lamentations 3:22-23.  Also, 2 Corinthians 4:16:  "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day."  Every morning is a new morning.  A new day to serve and love my husband, to learn to forgive him like he forgives me (a lot) and as Christ forgave me (more than a lot).  As hard as it is to say (but, how thankful I am to say it!), I cannot be married and love my husband well without the love of Christ.

My husband.  {swoooooon}.  How I adore that man.  He works so hard at everything that he does.  He is smart and uses the mind God gave him to support our family.  He loves the Lord with all of his might and leads us in seeking his face. He is hilarious, makes me think I am, and is alpha-protective.  Nothing means more to him than his family (me and his mama!).  He texts me whenever he sees or hears about an accident, just to let me know it's not him and he's okay.  He kisses me goodbye in the mornings and says I love you first (which is a lot).  He sends me emails at school just to let me know he's thinking of me and hopes my kids aren't being too rowdy that day.  How lucky I am to call this man my husband.

Here are some pictures from our wedding.  Such a bittersweet day- Best day of my life... during "Winter Hell" as the news called it.  Less than half the people that were supposed to come were able to make it.  Our reception photog never made it because they closed the highway.  My hair was slightly compromised by the sleet outside. But, you know what?  I wouldn't have had it any other way.

We wrote our own vows (in Hastings one afternoon over coffee.  I asked Daniel what he wanted them to say and he replied, "I don't care".  Ooooooooh.  Bad move.  Forgiveness I learned!  Haha):

I take you to be my Beloved Husband (wife)

I Pledge my heart to you in Faithfulness and Devotion.

I promise to Love and Comfort you,

Honor and Keep You,

in Plenty and in Want,

in Joy and in Sorrow,

in Sickness and in Health

and, Forsaking all others,

I will be True only unto you.

I thank God that He, in His perfect Will,

Has prepared us for one another, in Steadfast Love and in Mercy.

I promise to follow (lead) you faithfully in the Lord and love you as Christ loves the Church.

My Husband (wife), My Beloved, My Heart's Desire,

I will Love, Comfort, Serve (lead), and Cherish you 

All the Days of my Life.

Thank you, Lord, for marriage!

Baby Sister

My baby sister turns 23 today!

When I think back to my childhood, one thing I am eternally grateful for is my sister.  The bond 2 sisters share is something you can't describe and can only understand it if you share one.  I often tell my sister that I feel like we are twins because we are so close at heart.  I feel like there are times that we can be so tuned in to one another that we don't have to speak and we grow even closer. 

Growing up, we had our share of ups and downs.  I am sure I was excited when she came along (probably jealous, but I do recall watching a home video where I called her "My bebe" 40 times), but, like all sisters, we were brats along the way.  Sure, she bit my back fat and I shook her head.  Yes, I made fun of her inability to care for her baby-think-it-over doll in high school and she made fun of the fact that I sucked my thumb until I was 21 (yep, you read that right.  Twenty. One.  Wouldn't have known from this set of brace-free pearly whites!).  I buzzed her barbies and threw them in the "jacuzzi" toilet and she refused to let me sleep with her- well- my whole life when I was scared at night of dead people.  BUT, this is why we love each other.

My sister is my life, my rock, my best friend and the one I cannot imagine living without.  She is beautiful, kind, giving, compassionate, and hilarious.  She makes a fool out of herself and doesn't care.  She sings with me to our "songs" by Amy Grant and Wilson Phillips.  She cuddles with me and says "Eeeeeeeee" when she gets excited.  She wears kids' shoes and has webbed toes.  We are the opposite, but we are the same.  As much as I look up to her and wish I could be just like her, I know she feels the same.

I love my sister!  What a blessing she is.  I can't imagine who I would be without her.  There is no one like her.

Here are a few of our fav memories.  I know they won't make sense to you, but they are precious to us!

Chrissy and I at Grandma's house.  I can't believe I let go of Yella Baby long enough to hold her!  See that purple hand?  Chew it, let it harden, sniff it, and rub it.  I'm ashamed to admit how long I did that.

Getting ready to attack my twinkie.  She looks innocent- I am sure she either let out a huge fart or bit me.  Always so spoiled.  Why did SHE get the pink bow?!  =)

Life in the Daipy drawer.  My mom would store diapers in the bottom drawer and we would pull it out and hang out in there.  Most likely an idea I came up with while talking to myself or Yella Baby.  I probably coerced sissy into following me in there in our teddy bear and unicorn sweatsuits. We also used to have sleepovers in the closet after throwing all of the shoes out.  What were we thinking?!

Tramped up as Big Bird with BLUE EYESHADOW THNX MOM.   Did you have those McDonald's happy meal tubs?  Awesome!

Classic Kurowski Picture.  Dan Dan cool as a cucumber.  Me trying to be perfect (and succeeding, amen), Chrissy being a Draaaaaaammma Queeeen.

We took tap and ballet and were in "Annie".  I was  a cat, she was a mouse. How that fits into Annie is beyond me.  Clearly we only took dance for one year (and this fatty only took it because there was a candy store in the basement of the studio and my mom let us pick out one thing every time we went.  Booya).  Check out that form.

Looking extra fine on the Charles Bridge in Prague.  I am so thankful our parents moved us there.  We were forced to love each other, be best friends, and lean on each other... or go crazy.  Wish we had more pictures from this point in life (I think we do, but my parents have them (or we were in middle school and hated everything and everyone.  Dekuji hormones.))

We have gotten to experience so many things together.  Chrissy, I love you more with every day that I am alive.  I pray for you always and can't wait to see you soon.  I am so happy that you are getting married and can't imagine our life and family without Doug.  We finally feel like our family is complete and I can't wait to see you grow into a wife and, someday, a mom =)  Love you and happy birthday!

Thankful

I have really enjoyed reading about all of things people are thankful for over the past month.  I think it's really cool how we can challenge each other to post about things that are positive.  I wish I could say I am as thankful all year long as I am during the month of November, but, as much as I wish it were true, it simply isn't.
Correction- I wish I was aware of how thankful I should be all year long.
I wish I could be thankful this much when I am sad, mad, or tired.  I wish I could be thankful this much when life is hard and I feel like God is a million miles away (even though I know he's not).  I wish I told all the people I love how much they mean to me all year long.
I am always, always, always thankful.  I know the source of my thankfulness comes from Jesus and that all I have is from Him.  However, me being me-I forget January through October to be truly grateful.
SO, I am challenging myself to be grateful-this grateful-all the time.

Thanksgiving this year was just wonderful.  I don't know if it was because it was our first Thanksgiving in our house or what-but I felt like a real adult for the first time ever. Last week was a short work week and we only had school Monday and Tuesday (Score!).  Tuesday night we had our church dinner and it was nothing short of a huge huge blessing.  I am so thankful for our church family.  There are times when I imagine living somewhere else, but I always come back to our church family-we could never live without them.  They are home to me and the first/only church family I've ever known.  I was able to sit and talk with a woman from our church that I have never had the joy of really talking to.  It was so wonderful to learn from her and hear her heart.

A few weeks ago in Sunday school, we were reading from 1 Thessalonians 5 (which we studied in college but surprise, surprise, I forgot it all):
¹⁶ Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.  Do not quench the Spirit.

Okay, I get the first sentence-I may be really bad at it, but I get it.  "Quench the spirit"?  What does that even mean?? After learning what it meant, it realized, WELP, I do that a lot.  The spirit leads me to do things and I flat out refuse to do them.  Horrible.

So anyway, as I was talking to this woman, I had this strong urge to pray for her...  right there at the table.  I had had the urge before, but I never did anything about it.  This verse came to mind (thank you Jesus for your Word!) and I started almost chanting in my head Don't quench!  Don't quench!  We got up to leave and, in the midst of my quenching (more like dousing), I asked this woman if I could pray over her.

Um, are these words coming out of my mouth?  I see people do this all the time.  Praying is not hard.  Why do I fear it?

Whatever,  Get over yourself and pray for this woman! is what I heard in my head.  I think my heart was about to burst from my chest!  We prayed and it was awesome.   I will remember it for the rest of my life.  Do you ever get that feeling?  That feeling of knowing you are doing exactly what God wants you to do at that moment- ahh,  There is no single greater joy than that.  I hardly ever experience it (I'm working on that part!), but when I do, it's huge.

I don't mean to share that to make you think I am holy-bah, far from it-just to testify to the work God promises to do in us.  He is working hard!

Wednesday Daniel got off work early and we were able to spend the afternoon out together.  I love that man.  We also went with our church fam to see fireworks at the lake to Christmas music.  We looked like homeless people eating chili, hotdogs and smores, warming up over grills in the dark.  So fun.

Thursday we spent allllll day with Daniel's family, which I always adore.  I am so thankful the Lord prepared me for and for me a family that I feel I've always been a part of, even before we met.  Sounds weird, but I promise it's true.

I did not go Black Friday shopping, but organized my craft/gift closet instead:

From...

 You'd think we were expecting with all of that baby crap.  Boppy "models", clearance clothes, fabric everywhere!!

 I am a total bag lady- bags and bags and bags of fabric and notions.

To...

Ahh, so much better.  Those drawers were full of sewing scraps and junk that I had neglected for two years.  They were filthy from 2 rounds of moving, so I decided to finally put them to use.  Still full of baby clothes, but that will change in January!

Saturday Daniel and I were total fatties and barely left the house (Daniel didn't.  I took a few boxes to Goodwill and got groceries).  We watched 2 entire seasons of Big Bang Theory and scarfed half a batch of no bake cookies.  Pathetic.  =)

Today church was great, as usual.  I learned that 1.  I love hearing bible stories being told like a children's book, as opposed to being read (both have their strengths!) and 2.  I need to read more.  My Father in law was paraphrasing Job and he moved on-I leaned over and said to Daniel, "Sooo, how does it end!?!?".  I felt stupid not knowing (and he looked at me like I was crazy), but thankful I have a husband who teaches me continually.

We went out to lunch with some good friends and will have our 6th and final Thanksgiving with my brother and his wife tonight.  Thankful to soon eat something besides turkey and mashed potatoes, but looking forward to the last 3 weeks of the semester and more family over Christmas.

I am so thankful.  Really, full.  Almost to the point where I am waiting for something bad to happen because life really can't be this good, can it?
I will trust that no matter what lies ahead for us, good, bad, blessing, or struggle, our God loves us enough to bring us through it, teaching us along the way.

Things I learned from my Momma

I love my Mom.  She has always been the best Mom we could ever have prayed for at all the right times.
What?  =)
When I think about growing up, I think about how my Mom grew with us in the way she parented us.  She gave us all we needed (and so much more!) when we were little and now that the three of us are grown, she continues to be a great Mom, but in different ways than before.   It's more than just the way she talks to us- it's the way her love evolves over time to be stronger and stronger (even though I'm sure she never thought she could never love us more than the day we were born) and more relate-able.
I feel like there's a magical moment somewhere in time when you begin to see your Mom not just as a mom, but a person, a woman, and someone you can call friend.  When I was little, I always knew my mom was the best.  When I was in college, I wrote a paper about how much I loved her and how I would go into her room and spray her perfume so I could feel like she was close (when she was at work-and this was when I was little- not when I was in school. Creeeeeeepppppy).  Now, I think about my Mom and still feel all of those things, but more.  It's hard to explain, but all I can say is that the Lord truly blessed our family with this woman.
Here are some of the things I love about my Mom:

She loves Jesus.

I don't have a picture for this.  Deal.

She's pretty much Hilarious.  This is just one of her jokes.

Her Doppelganger is clearly Sally Fields.  And who doesn't adore her?

She took such awesome care of us- and had some serious style.  Notice the following:

1. I was born in February and this is summer- so I am probably 3-4 months old- and my Mom is HOT and back to her pre-preggo bod with Kid #2 (she did it with #3, too folks)
2. I was breast-fed (thanks, Mom!), so she planned ahead so much that this bottle was the result of a pumping session.  Sorry Mom, but I think that's awesome.
3. Check out that beach bag in the back.  I would carry that now.
4. Did I say how pretty she is?  That should be pretty obvious.

Left, her senior pic!

She clearly also doesn't age.  She will be 50 very soon (sorry mom!) and she doesn't look it at all.  Also, her and my dad have been together since 7th grade.  Sweet.

 And, she captured moments like this, before people had cameras in their cell phones or in their pockets.  The unplanned times when we were just us.  My mom kept-I'm assuming- diapers in the bottom drawer of our dresser and Chrissy (LEFT- yes, she is younger than I am, contrary to what people think based on our appearances now!) and I would pull it out and sit in there.  We called it "The Diapy Drawer".  Freaks.  My mom also made our sweat suits.  So 90's.  So awesome.  I'm sure she was listening to Wilson Phillips while she made them, too.  I hope I get to be the same kind of Mom when I have babies!

I love my Mom, in case you didn't get that.  She taught me so much, but today I was thinking of her and the ways she taught me to spend moooolah.  My mom has always taught us to save money on the little things- like food (not in that she didn't buy healthy things- she didn't buy a lot of processed stuff and made a lot from scratch and recipes with few ingredients)- so that we could be able to do the fun things- like go shopping, buy meaningful gifts for each other, and donate it.  She has always loved Aldi, and she definitely passed that love on to us.  Here are some things I got today:

My Mom inspired me to love fruit, too I guess!  And yes, Daniel and I will eat all of it this week!

 Want to know how much this was (not including the flowers)?  $7.50.  CRAZY!  The pineapple was $1.99, Blueberries (the whole pint) and Cherries (1 lb) $1.25 each, Strawberries $.88 each and grapes were $1.25 for the whole case.  The flowers were only $3.99 for half a dozen roses- they are going to Daniel's grandma at the nursing home.  Seriously!  My mom would be so proud.

Lastly, my mom taught me to be organized- and eat fruit-filled lunches.  I have always packed Daniel's lunches (and wrote him notes, but other construction folks started to tease him, so that stopped.  Haha) and being a workin' girl (summer is over tomorrow!), organization is the key to happiness in this house.  I buy all the fruit for the week on Sunday, cut it up if needed, and package it up so I just have to grab it every night and put it in his lunch sack for the next day.  So easy!

I wash the fruits that can handle being pre-washed all week and we wash the other kinds of fruits right before we eat them at work.  Washing fruit days ahead will make them spoil faster because the skin absorbs the water.  Grapes usually can stand being washed 5 days ahead of time.  Strawberries, not so much.  Daniel will also take pineapple (the berries are mine), but I put that in Tupperware for him.  I also prepackage chips, too!
So anyway, here's to you, Momma!  Love you!