|How Daddy found out, our positive tests, and telling our family.|
I never tried to imagine what it would feel like to have to grieve over my own child. I always heard testimonies of parents who lost their children and would say, "It's not supposed to happen like this. My children should have to say goodbye to me, not the other way around". It always made me cry to think that saying goodbye, for many parents, is the road the Lord has prepared. But to have to do it myself is something I couldn't begin to fathom. And, now it's here.
I'm sure that at some point, I will write as part of my grieving process. But, I don't want a goodbye to be about my pain. I don't want to darken the joy of my precious baby with the sorrow of my heart. I've said it before and I will again- no matter how long we had our baby with us, we will always be his parents. He deserved to be rejoiced over and we will do just that. We will be brave. I will joyfully remember the short time I got to have to carry him with me wherever I went and the joy his Daddy knew when I told him he was on his way. There will not be a day that goes by that we will not think of him and imagine what he would have looked like and what his favorite toys would have been. We will be proud of him, call him our first child, and tell his brothers and sisters about their baby in heaven. We will be thankful that Christ died for us, even for this baby, and that he never had to know the sorrows of this world. He never had to cry in sadness, feel pain, or know loneliness. Instead, his eyes first saw Jesus. What a lucky little glory baby.
God promises that he works all things for the good of those who love him. He knows what is best. Nothing is out of his hands. So, we trust. We trust that this is good. This fits into God's plan. The Lord saw fit to take our child knowing it would bring glory somehow. Honored are we to know that God can use us this way, that it will not consume us, and that Christ will never fail us. The past six weeks have been our best and we are full of thanksgiving.
2 Corinthians 12:9: "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me."
Romans 8:26-28: "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."
Isaiah 43: 1-2
But now, this is what the Lord says—
he who created you, Jacob,
he who formed you, Israel:
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
2 When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.
Sweet Glory Baby,
We love you and miss you terribly. We will carry you with us always and rejoice in knowing you are held in the arms of Jesus. Oh, the glory you must see! We are so thankful for your life and that Christ knew you even before we did. We can't wait to finally meet you face to face and hold you tight. We couldn't be more proud of you.
Love you forever, Momma and Daddy
Disregard the actual "video" part. Love this song. I heard it on Pandora last year. Never would I think it would bring special meaning to me. My God is good. My God is holy. My God has been preparing my heart for this and, for that, I am grateful.
Glory Baby by Watermark